My Beautiful Wickedness


So slender, so strong.
January 21, 2009, 11:12 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

She’s like a young tree shooting upwards, dancing out in all directions but mainly striving towards the sky. I watched her tonight through the window in the studio. Much of a parent’s life is spent not in eye contact, as she is more interested in the book, the game, the doll, or even watching herself pose in the mirror. She sees a lot of the back of my head as I drive her to dance or pick her up from school. I worry that we don’t spend enough time face to face. Tonight, though, as she’s in the middle of a complicated passage, her feet a blur of beats, she spots me as she turns, her eyes locked on mine as she turns into the next combination. At the end of the song, she grabs a towel and her water bottle and finds me once again in the mirror, sending a smile meant as a message — we will always be connected.

She’s been promoted again in ballet. Most of the girls in the class are in high school and they treat her like a dorky little sister; it’s kind of adorable to watch her bouncing around with them like a micro-ballerina. She’s excited and a little confused to be selected, afraid that it’s going to be socially awkward with the rest of the girls her age. I’m happy for her, but curious too. Will she continue to like this or will she decide next year that she’s done with dancing? Is awesome at ten a predictor of anything particularly for her future or is it like me and singing — something that I love to do, but nothing that I ended up doing for a living? Will she maybe want to run her own studio? Will she want to dance in a company (will she have the talent, courage, and luck to do so)?

For now, I just watch her pirouette, serenely self-contained, spotting on me. I guess I just have to stand by and continue to help her keep her balance.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Willowy. With you to keep her centered.

Comment by patti

She has a sturdy beam to dance across, that’s for sure…

Comment by imfunny2




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