My Beautiful Wickedness


Out of whack.
April 27, 2008, 11:01 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m getting better, but I’ve been really physically and emotionally out of whack all week long. It was a gruesome work week, punctuated by some totally unprofessional stuff going on outside of my normal theatre of socializing. It turns out that I work on the same campus with some curiously anti-intellectual and bullying people. Normally, I have very little contact with that particular group of people, but this time, I had to take that piece of campus-wide legislation through a meeting they controlled and it was a lot like I imagine it would be to be attacked by hyenas. You’re not dead, you’re just bitten over and over as they try to force you to quit resisting. The nasty personal e-mails started coming in last Friday and rolled on throughout the week, moving to a whole-campus mudslinging bout on Sunday night. (Smaller the campus, the more vicious the politics.) My blood pressure shot up, my heart started going in and out of rhythm, my ears started ringing, I couldn’t sleep…more stress than what is good for my body, for sure. And inevitably, the big meeting came and I did my best and the screamers screamed and the showboaters showboated and I lost. More correctly put, I got my ass kicked by a 2:1 margin. I had proposed a small change to a system that hadn’t changed in twenty years, that had been about thirty years outdated when it had been adopted in the first place. The older the faculty member, the more likely he or she was to say no.

What I had tried to do? You’ll laugh. I had tried to argue that a single women’s studies course should be added to a grouping of courses that students can choose from to teach them about human behavior and how humans think about themselves as individuals, groups, and institutions. I didn’t expect a lot of controversy over the point that women are humans.

Anyhow, it sucked.

And so since Wednesday afternoon, I’ve been trying to get myself back in hand. I have been concentrating on just detaching, working around the house, focusing on my grading and my garden and sitting quietly in the sunshine. I’ve taken a couple of walks to enjoy the spring flowers. I’ve taken a nap or two.

I still feel out of whack. My sabbatical is coming at a really good time.

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3 Comments so far
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(hugs you)

It’s amazing how soi-disant ‘grown ups’ revert to high school behavior whenever they feel ‘safe’ enough to be brats, aint it?

As I said over at Gerald’s I’m disturbed enough by the voting numbers…but

personal attacks via email….?

Hell, maybe the last boyfrend of mine, (and I mean last in terms of both *final* and most recent)

TheMostEvilDisabledManAlive

could have done fine as a faculty member after all.

(Shudder.)

Comment by imfunny2

You have to tell yourself that you’ll make the suggestion again when you get back from sabbatical, and then it’ll lose by 11:9, and then again and it’ll pass. Incremental progress.

Or, more realistically, yeah, that sucks.

Comment by nm

Bridgett:

Sorry to hear that professionalism goes out the window in those situations; sad, but true.

I have been fortunate(?) in this life to be such an under achiever that I haven’t advanced very far up any corporate ladder or org chart. Of course the fact that I have zero interest in kissing peoples’ asses helps with that.

Please know that I appreciate your input at MCB. I swear, if Ned Williams would stop posting that claptrap of his I’d spend lots more time at “Cook, eat, Fret”. Claudia is a hot shit and a great cook.

Enjoy your sabbatical and then come back and rip them a new one.

Comment by democommie




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