My Beautiful Wickedness

More work always works.
February 12, 2008, 9:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Thank you for all your kind words and thoughts. I’m not totally turned around, but I’m moving in a better direction with a purpose. 

I have been fighting a cold and today it took me out for a round. I have a sore throat and stuffed up head, but luckily nothing that a little ibuprofen can’t fix up. Between the heavy snow and my own clogged up ears, I’ve had a quiet day.

While my mother is cruising around the Caribbean, the adults in my house are stuck watching a “talking dogs” movie that she sent Kid for Valentine’s Day. It was a bad one — it made “Snow Dogs” look like “Citizen Canine.” As a parent, you’re just going to do your time on this sort of film and mostly, I have made my peace with it. My husband, however, thinks that this is my mom’s fiendish plot to drive him crazy. He might be right. They have a playful prankish relationship and she’s much better at saddling him with irritating gifts that he must use or display than he is at obligating her to the same. Who can forget the Christmas that Kid was born, when she gave us the Lionel train clock that gave an ear-splitting whistle every hour on the hour? Or the Halloween visit where she gave Kid the CD of Disney classics played by an amateur polka band? Or the endless succession of talking dog movies?

Anyhow, he’s been trying to think of something suitably devious to stick her with and was coming up empty. Then I thought of something clever. We bought her a digital picture frame for Christmas. We are currently loading up a flash drive full of photos and films so that she can have more recent things. I type up a little set of captions so that she can know more about the photos as they roll if she wants to find out where we were, the names of the other kids in the pictures, and so forth. I suggested that about every 25 or 30 photos, we drop in a stock photo of some stranger and caption it something like “cousin Jim on his bass boat” or “Cindy going to church” and just leave them in there and not say anything about it. My mom has been worried for the last fifteen years that she was someday going to start skipping grooves…and that would just drive her up the wall digging through the picture box trying to find somebody that looked like cousin Jim as she wonders “whose kid is Cindy?”

No, I won’t actually do it. But it’s funny to think about.


2 Comments so far
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You should totally do it! When my daughter was learning to sew, she made herself a bunch of simple, elastic-waisted shorts out of different crazy fabrics. She decided to make her grandpa matching shorts out of the same fabrics. I thought it would be a great pay back for all the obnoxious gifts he gave her, but he loved them; he wore them proudly with his Hawaiian shirts.

Do you guys ever go snow shoeing or cross country skiing? That’s the best cure for winter blahs.

Comment by patti

I’m so glad we’re done with kids’ movies. They can be so painful to watch (over and over and over again).

I like your idea, if only just to amuse yourself by comtemplating it. I’d love to do something like that to my mother-in-law, but alas, she has no sense of humor.

Comment by listie

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