My Beautiful Wickedness


Dreaming in metaphor
December 1, 2007, 12:53 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today, Kid busted into our room at 6 am, squealing with delight that it had snowed. She flipped on all the lights, did a little boogie, and gestured that the snow was “really really deep!” John was bummed — to him, deep snow means work — and heaved a heavy sigh. As she thundered downstairs to look at the snow some more, he rolled over and told me that he had been having a boring dream about being trapped in a conversation at a conference about a paper that hadn’t been any good, yet the other people all wanted to talk about it, so he had to fake like he knew something further about the subject and…well, boring. I realized that I, too, had been stuck in a boring dream. Like many of my dreams lately, I’m in an amusement park but I never seem to get to ride any rides. I’m always walking to the ride or I’m thinking about going on the ride or, like last night, I’m waiting in line for the ride. I had been waiting in line for Pirates of the Caribbean for the longest time, holding all this stuff in my hands that I kept dropping and having to pick up…

You know, it’s not just being an adult that sucks. It’s having boring adult dreams and having to confront what they say about your feelings about your current life. I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t immediately groan when the clock goes off because there’s some crap thing that I have to do immediately. (Like grading sub-par papers.) I want to be authentically joyful when it snows, not because it might mean class is cancelled, but because it is beautiful.

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2 Comments so far
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The hardest thing about being a grown up is making time for joy…aint it?

Comment by imfunny2

I have some that are clearly still wish fulfillment….

I was in the Loire valley, at a local restaurant…not one I’d seen when I was there, but something my brain completely made up…a small dining room 15 tables max and tall tall windows with heavy middling green curtains..The windows were wide enough to let in a deal of light. It was a midday crowd (3 pm not noon, since the eateries close at that time) and I had a tomato salad with vinagrette and blush wine in front of me….

And then I woke up…

Merde.

Comment by imfunny2




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