My Beautiful Wickedness


My cat is a pro.
November 23, 2007, 9:14 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I have to hand it to Jane. (Yes, the cat’s named Jane. Just Jane. Not Jane Austen, Jane Eyre, or any other cool literary allusion. She’s named Jane because Kid named everything Jane for a brief six month period about three years ago…)

Jane is a hornker. She hornks regularly, hairballs and indigestible and feline what have yous.

This is not an endearing quality in a housepet. I have brushed and I have combed, groomed and given her the greasy stuff and the little pills that vets recommend (for hairballs and the presumed motility disorder that makes her tummy not contract properly, thus leading to more hairballs than normal). These she promptly yocks. After three years, I’ve come to accept that this is just how she is. She eats well. She maintains weight and is otherwise spunky. She just boots a lot.

So, why the title? Because she has perfected the art of puking only on hardwood or concrete. Really. It’s pretty amazing. She runs off the area rug so that she can make an easily wipeable puddle. And in the three years she’s been doing this, she has never thrown up when my husband was around. It’s always just me and Jane. So in three years, he has never EVER had to clean up cat barf.

We all have our place in the cat universe. John’s the feeder. I’m the wiper of barf.

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