My Beautiful Wickedness


All the posting in the wee hours means…
July 11, 2007, 2:12 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I am making friends with my insomnia again. Four nights running. Tonight’s garbage night — scavengers rattle up the streets pushing purloined shopping carts, digging through our recyclables for cans and bottles. Once they stop skirmishing with the garbage, the college kids begin to stagger down the street screaming into their cellphones at their girlfriends. (Laura, you were supposed to pick him the fuck up at closing time. He doesn’t know where the fuck he is or how the fuck he’s going to get home.) Then the garbage guys come by around 2:30 or so. One guy has a pretty nice voice, sings opera, bangs cans. Some cats go at it down the street. My daughter explains something emphatically but incomprehensibly to whoever she’s arguing with in her dream. Fans drone. A firetruck races past for the third time in four hours (I live on a busy street). The soft lowing of foghorns on the Hudson mean that it’s just about dawn and the barges are moving again. The quick footfall of the first jogger, hoping to get home before the sun is fully up, punctuates the birdsongs.

And another night will be done.

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3 Comments so far
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Me too. It has been about two weeks for me.

I’m stuck in this cycle of forcing myself to wake up, pushing through the day, then falling asleep some time during the evening (I’m not taking naps – I’m doing the middle aged “pass out in the chair” thing) and waking up at about the time I should go to sleep.

Comment by Gerald

I go to bed at “normal” time. I lay there for an hour or so and roll around. I start to worry that I’m keeping John awake. I realize my back is killing me. I get up and walk around and stretch, I debate on whether to take a pain reliever, I take a hot shower to loosen it up. I rattle around the house indecisively. I check my blogs. I read the news. I do some posting. I finally give up and realize that the pain isn’t going away on its own and nothing I’ve done so far is working. I take a pain reliever. I wait for it to kick in. I jerk around on the internet some more. By the time the pain gets cut, it’s around 4 am. I go back to bed. My mornings start around 7, when Kid gets me up to play board games or talk about HP. There is no nap time for Mama. You’d think that the string of short-sleep nights would eventually help me self-correct (and I’m hoping that will work), but all it’s done so far is reset my wakefulness clock and make me less alert during the day. I have been told that this is part of peri-menopause and I’ll need less sleep as I’m older, but I’m right now still making the transition from resisting it to trying to fill the hours productively.

I know. I’ll tell myself that I’m going to use the time to write and that way I’ll never have a problem nodding off and sleeping right through the opportunity!

Comment by bridgett

Sounds like my nights: drunk college students yelling, urinating and puking in the street, fire engines screming by, cat fights, other animals making their nightly rounds in the backyard – the usual.

I won’t lie to you; menopause can be a bitch, sleepwise. Take the pain killer and get some rest.

Comment by listie




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