My Beautiful Wickedness

As promised…
June 10, 2007, 9:23 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Long car trips breed speculative conversations. As we were rolling through Virginia, we came upon a group of incompetent road workers…well, we assumed they were county employees. They had neon-green t-shirts, hard hats, and a lot of orange traffic cones. They jumped out of a white pickup truck and began shouting into their cellphones and flagging traffic away from a busy town center. Later, we found out there had been an accident down the road and that their purpose had been legitimate, even if they didn’t do their job very well. (Traffic coming up the ramp could still proceed unimpeded, meaning that they’d only reduced the traffic flow about thirty percent.)

Anyhow, we got to thinking as we sat in that traffic jam, looking at the empty Walmart parking lot over the hill and all the shoppers desperate to do their Friday night shopping…

What if we just start taking shit back?

No, I don’t mean returning it for money. I mean taking back the wash of cheap crap a little at a time, just returning it and placing it quietly back on the shelf. Call it “inventory enhancement.” Call it truth in advertising. Let people see what their shit is going to look like in six months, three years, five years…at the very least, it won’t be cluttering up my house any more.

Yeah, on further reflection, I think I’d just rather freecycle my crap. But one could detour traffic anywhere, if only one owned a white pickup truck, a neon green shirt, and some orange cones…


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