My Beautiful Wickedness

There are days that just drag on and on and get worse and worse.
June 6, 2007, 9:45 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

My Nashville readers know whereof I speak. A central figure in their blogging community — one of the few feminist bloggers being paid to blog and aggregate as an experiment in merged media — got sick of being blogswarmed by sub-literate idiots and quit. (That’s been on its way for a while.)

Vacation looms with my in-laws. They love their son and they are beyond good to their grandkid, but me? They don’t like me and I don’t like them. A long history of why that is would be depressing and probably uncharitable, so I’ll skip the painful episodes that have led me to conclude that the barbs and slights are not just me being “too sensitive.” Because the other members of my family love it and have every right to happy functional relationships with their extended family, I suck it up and go off to the beach every year for a week, but by day three, I want to make like James Mason in the original A Star is Born. Alcoholic stupor first, then intentional drowning. It’s a lot of work getting ready for a vacation. It’s worse when you don’t want to go in the first place.

The job situation with my husband has gone nowhere. His boss will be back in town tomorrow. If he’s out of work, one of the first logical things to cut in our budget is our daughter’s dance classes. They are really expensive and a foolish luxury. But you know, tonight at the studio, watching her dance and really get wrapped up in it, seeing her so happy and energetic, not worried about anything but hitting the perfect pirouette…you know, we all three felt a whole lot better. Not so much insulated from hardship, but a little hopeful. I think there are times when the soul needs beauty more than just about anything. While it might be logical to cut them first, I am hoping that we can find a way to keep her enrolled, even if we have to sacrifice other things.


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