My Beautiful Wickedness

Eurovision 2007
May 14, 2007, 1:30 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Boy, am I pissed. Another Eurovision competition come and gone and still I haven’t gotten to see the full man-in-high-heels and-a-8-foot-red-feather-boa with a twelve-piece-orchestra-dressed-in-cricket-uniforms horror that is this giddily tacky competition.

The BBC always has a ball reviewing the winners. This year, the winning number merited this purpleicious prose:

Serbia’s torch song, Molitva, was a heartfelt plea to an estranged lover with religious overtones.

“I can’t lie to God as I kneel down and pray. You’re the love of my life,” cried Serifovic as five bouffant backing singers touched her back in support.

At times, their routine resembled liturgical dancing. At others, it seemed to be a slow-motion lesbian porn film.”

This entry won out over the Belarussian singers, who “used the power of static electricity to stick themselves to a pair of elevator doors,” Sweden’s use of male nudity to stimulate voting, and Ukranian transvestites. America, I ask you, how can you deny yourself this ready-for-basic-cable extravaganza of cheese TV?


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