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Student A. takes two exams of four. A. Is absent w/o leave for the middle 1/3 of class, then comes back inexplicably and finishes the class without discussion of where she’s been. Her final is…wellllll, it’s not great, but she squeaks out with a low D. She has done no homework throughout the course of the class and when I point out to her at the end of the course that she would be receiving a zero for her homework component, she insists that she has it all on her hard-drive. I give her 24 hours to produce it, with the understanding that it will be accepted at a deep discount. 6 of 14 assignments get e-mailed to me (about what one could do if one pulled an all-nighter, but I’m trying not to be all cynical). So, I add up her final grade and it comes out to a mid 40s grade. Not close to passing. So I turn in an F.
I get a very petulant letter the next day informing me that she does not have time to retake this class so she has to be passed. I’m to figure out some way of making this happen. The note is carboned to my department chair.
I respond to all, informing her that she’s missed two exams (30% of the grade) and turned in only half the homework, and that exceptionally late. She missed a lot of class and she pulled only average scores on the completed work, so she had really earned the grade I awarded her.
The piece de resistance? “But I missed those exams because I was at my grandma’s funeral.” Ah, the totemic dead granny, whose bones work a charm against academic insufficiencies of all kinds.
So, see, here’s the deal. The exams were three weeks apart.
I again said no and explained to her (and the silently observing department chair) that she’d missed both the exams and the make-ups that were scheduled after the exams.
Then she freaks. “You don’t understand. I’m student teaching in the fall. I don’t have time to take this class.” She’s planning to be a social studies teacher. Yep. And she just doesn’t have time to learn mere content.
I counseled her toward summer coursework. She was opposed. She was already taking a half-time load this summer. She’s now just stuck on insisting that I need to pass her for work she hasn’t done or done poorly.
Who the hell does this? I mean, does this kind of tantrumish behavior work with anyone?
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My Beautiful Wickedness 
I don’t know whom it works on, but both and Professor Kaufman have stories aplenty in that vein. And hey, at least they weren’t having sex in your office. I … think that counts as a bright side, yes?
Comment by magniloquence May 16, 2007 @ 1:42 pmEgad! My reply, it was eaten by Akismet!
Comment by magniloquence May 16, 2007 @ 1:43 pmCraptastic. I just check Akismet and I have nothing in my spamulator. What can I do to retrieve your bon mots?
Comment by bridgett May 16, 2007 @ 7:45 pmAt least she didn’t turn in an F (for both content and grammar) paper and tell you “my mother is an English teacher and she says that this is an A paper.”
Comment by nm May 18, 2007 @ 5:19 pmAh, yes…the mother who says that Precious Baby is perfect and the mean old professor is stupid. A BA in secondary ed with an English concentration
Comment by bridgett May 18, 2007 @ 5:47 pmdefinitely trumps a PhD in the content area and two decades of teaching/professional writing experience.
You mean it doesn’t?
Comment by nm May 19, 2007 @ 9:44 am